The Last Stretch

I was given a little quiz today at the surgeon's office and got 100 on it!! The two people prior to me that took it passed, but did not do as well as I did. I really did a lot of research on this surgery. I wanted to make sure I was as informed as I could be. I also had to sign the consent form. Boy, there were 3 pages of everything that could go wrong. A little scary, but the surgeon went over it with me and the data from his departement and made me feel a lot better. They were very happy with my 13 lb weight loss since the last time I was there. They want me to continue on Medifast until the surgery. He only does 3 surgeries a day so that he can be more personal with his patients. Love that!! From beginning to end, I will be in the operating room for 2 hours and then moved to recovery. I will have to make sure to walk around as to not get any blood clots. The next morning, I will have an x-ray taken and then be released that afternoon. A lot of insurance companies want to treat this as ambulatory, but I'm glad my surgeon does not. I feel more comfortable after a surgery like this, being observed for 24 hours before being sent home. I will have to see him again a week after my surgery and then every month after that for the first year. During the second year, I only have to go every 3 months and then after that, just twice a year. Not bad. He also said he wants to get me to the point where I can eat between a half and full sandwich a meal. I was surprised I could eat that much. I don't think this is going to be that bad after all.

I have to admit, since being on Medifast, I have enjoyed not being hungry all the time and not feeling stuffed every time I eat. This has been a great experience for me so far. I am really tired lately, but the surgeon said that will go away.

For no reason

I have realized a lot about my eating habits during this short process with Medifast. I have learned that I love to eat and want to eat all the time, whether I am hungry or not. I have realized that I think about food all of the time. It's taken such extreme will power to stop all my old bad habits. No more drive thrus or runs to 7-11. I eat what's in my house, which is basically just Medifast food for now. Over time, I think these thoughts will wane, but for now, it's tough. As always, if I don't start eating something, I'm fine. I am not tempted and don't ask if I want something. I did great on vacation, even though I cheated a little. I was shocked to see when I came home and weighed myself that I was 3 pounds heavier, but the next morning, I was right back down to my weight pre-vacation. I believe it was all water weight because of all the water I drank due to the extreme heat. Today, I am finally past that 10.2 lb. mark. Friday is my last appointment with my surgeon before my actual surgery. Excited!!

It's Official!!!

August 23 is my surgery date!! I am back into the swing of things with my meals and have packed everything necessary to bring with me this weekend on our little trip to the Jersey shore. I expect to lose a couple of pounds.

I can't stop smiling. :)

Tentative!!

I just got the call!!! I have been approved for my surgery and the tentative date is August 23. The surgeon still needs to review my file, duscuss my case and approve the date, but I'm praying it sticks. I'm so ready!!!

The Same

I did my first weekend of cheating. On Friday, at the Dave Matthews Band concert, I tried my first half of a fried green tomato. It was delicious!! We know the chef. I also didn't do so well eating all the Medifast meals on Saturday and Sunday. It also ended up being that time of month for me, which ended up being the culprit for the weight gain and pure exhaustion earlier in the week. Considering all of this, I weighed myself this morning and weighed in at 296.2 lbs., which was the same as last week. I don't think I should complain or be that dissapointed in myself. I should have stuck to the diet and made sure I ate everything I was supposed to. This coming weekend will be an additional challenge because we are going on a small weekend get away. I'll be able to stick to it for the most part and may stray a little at my meals, but will still make the right choices!! Less then two weeks until I see my surgeon again.

Ugh!!

I know I'm not supposed to weigh myself everyday, but I have been since I started on Medifast. I went to the gym this week, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Since then, I have gained back two pounds!!! The story of my life. I know I shouldn't be upset, but how could I not be?? Aren't I doing everything that I'm supposed to?? This is why the surgery is necessary. I can't take this anymore!!! I don't want to hear that I turned my fat to muscle because that's not going to help me when I see my surgeon in 2 weeks. Well, if I go back to losing weight the rest of the week because I'm not able to go to the gym, I will have to stop all gym activity (for the last week it's open, at least) until after surgery.

I want to cry!!

Pictures

I keep staring at the profile picture I decided to post as it sits next to the picture I posted at the beginning of my weight loss journey. My profile picture was taken on 2/17/08, my first annversary with my boyfriend. Yes, I have gained quite a bit of weight since then, more then I realized until recently, but I also do know how to take a great picture of myself, lol. Maybe that's why I keep trying to fool myself that I'm 'not that heavy' until I see a picture that someone else has taken of me and I realize that my perception of myself is way off.

Finally, a picture!!

I know, it's about a week late, but here's the picture I promised. It's me, at weight 306.4 lbs.

Out of the 300s!!!

Saturday was not as bad as I had expected. I did great!! No cheating!! People actually commented that they can't believe how I'm constantly eating. Well, I have to fit a total of six meals into my day.

Sunday was actual a little tough. I didn't leave me house except for a little food shopping so that I could make a yummy taco salad for dinner. There was no structure and I actually only had 3 of my Medifast meals. I have to be a little better when I'm at home on the weekends.

Today is my first official weigh in since starting Medifast, which was six days ago. I weighed 296.2 this morning!! That means I am down 10 lbs 2 oz.

I feel so great this morning. The seat belt fits better and I actually noticed some extra room in a shirt I wore.

I am also going back to the gym this week and next. After that, it will be closed for good and I will have to figure out something else to do. I don't know if I will just do some exercise in the house or join another gym.

My Biggest Eating Challenge

Yesterday was supposed to already be a challenge for me because I wouldn't be on a real schedule, per se. I was getting out of work at 12, driving all the way home to let my dog out and then heading into Queens to pick up my boyfriend. From there, we were off to NJ to go to a restaurant and/or Seaside Heights before heading to an awesome concert by Ed from Live. I figured I would have some kind of grilled chicken salad for dinner sans the dressing, but I found a half baked chicken, which was delicious, but had more grease then I've ever seen. Not sure how that's even possible, but I took all the skin off and I weighed myself this morning and it has had no effect on my weight loss, which is going phenominal!! I will keep you in suspense and will reveal the amount on Monday morning as promised. I had also brought enough of my other 'meals' from Medifast to hold me over. However, all of that was the east part. What was so hard on me was the fact that I had my review earlier in the morning. After a half hour (!) in with two of the partners, it was decided that I was not getting a raise this year (which is something I totally expected and don't want to go into on here, but it was still hard to hear reality, especially since I struggle from paycheck to paycheck.) Needless to say, I was Cranky Pant Cavanaugh, which is the name given to my alter ego by my boyfriend when I am just not acting myself. Well, CPC was in FULL EFFECT for many hours, probably about 6. Lots of horse race winning and just the usual fun my boyfriend and I have together brought back Christine. Seriously, all I wanted to do was eat everything in sight as soon as we got to the restaurant or drink A LOT when we got to the concert venue or both and I am very proud to say that I did neither. I had a lot of quiet time and thinking and got past it all. Sorry to my boyfriend for having to deal with it, but I am so proud of myself for not falling back into my normal habits. :)

Today is my nephew's birthday party, so I will be bringing all of my own food to eat. No problem at all!! I even baked Peach Oatmeal cookies to eat while cake is being served.

No cheating!!

Yesterday was one of the very few days that I have not cheated on a diet and I'm so proud of myself. :) It was a struggle. I started getting headaches and started feeling hungry. Normally, my first instinct would be to grab a snack, but you can't eat anything extra on Medifast....just their 5 meals and 1 regular meal. I guess I am finally ready to change my life because it really didn't take too much will power from me and I wasn't craving food or anything. Six meals a day is perfect for me. I'm constantly 'eating'. The only drawback was that I had to get up TWICE in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I NEVER do that. That's fine with me...lose all the water weight now. Since I'm a little crazy, I decided to weigh myself this morning, just to see and I lost over 3 pounds!!! I know that's not the norm, but not a bad start. I will from now on be weighing in every Monday morning before going to work so that I will be consistent. My mom took a picture of me yesterday and I will be posting it probably tonight, if I can locate the correct wires. Things are still in a little disarray at the house. I haven't had to much time to finish organizing things. Sunday is the day!! I will probably post pictures every time I have a visit with my surgeon and as those become fewer, at least every month.

One casualty this morning...I dropped my eggs in the garbage pail!! They cooked perfectly except for a little excess water and I went to pour it out and the eggs slid so quickly right out of my container with the water. It was hot, so I had trouble holding it. I'm not too happy, but luckily had an extra shake with me at work to drink in its place.

I'm passing on the gym this week so that my body can adjust to this new diet AND it's 100 degrees here. I'm also still sore from the weekend of swimming with the kids. No more excuses after this week. Right back to the gym for the last two weeks it is open. Then....I'm not sure.

Day 1 on Medifast

I have slept 3 days with the CPAP machine and I don't really like it. I wake up during the night and then have to reset the machine. The mask doesn't seem to fit properly. I should have went with the full nose mask instead of the mask that just went up the nose. I'm trying, I really am. I think I get nervous about it and that's why I have so many problems. There is nothing to be nervous about, it's just a weird feeling. You have slight air being pumped into your nose and can really only breathe out of your mouth. I guess it's just something I have to get used to. The technician is supposed to call me today, so I will talk to him and see what he suggests.

My Medifast package was delivered on Friday, so I started today on the 5-1 plan and one lean and green meal. So far so good...2 meals down, 4 to go.

I have to admit that this past weekend, I visited several of my favorite restaurants and ate my favorite foods since it will be a very long time, if ever, doing that again. Surprisingly, I lost a pound!! I didn't go crazy nuts, but did eat more then I should have. So, this morning, I weighed 306.4 pounds. Keep in mind, my scale at home, the difference in time of day I am weighed and clothes vs no clothes seems to be a 4 pound difference with the surgeon's scale.

Wish me luck because I'm really nervous about this whole Medifast thing and losing the weight I need to. Many eating challenges await me in the near future, but as long as I prepare in advance, I'm hoping I am fine. I am having my mom take a picture of me today at lunch and will post pictures periodically to show my progress.

Official Consultation with my Sugeon

Last night was the big night!! I already did all my consulations and was just going in for an official consultation with my surgeon. Of course, they only had one evaluation and have to now contact all of my doctors for their reports. My worst fear was realized last night and I was fairly certain it would happen. My BMI is .2 higher then the surgeons like to operate on. I was not surprised because it's the story of my life, but I did shed some tears. My official weight last night was 311.4, height 5'3" and BMI 55.2. He would like me to lose about 15-20 pounds before he does the surgery. He suggested Medifast. I've done it before, but doing more shakes this time. I drink/eat five of their products and one lean and green meal a day. They claim I can lose 2-5 pounds a week. I just made an appointment to see him again on July 30. I'm hoping to be down this weight by then and we can schedule the surgery at that time. Being on a liquid diet also helps in reducing the size of your liver, which partly lays on top of your stomach and must be raised during surgery, we learned last night. Obviously, the less I weigh, the better the outcome of the surgery. I'm hoping to have my package from Medifast either Tuesday or Wednesday of next week and I'm starting right away!! My boyfriend has a lot more confidence in me losing this weight than I have in myself, because, let's be honest, if I could do this on my own, I wouldn't be having the surgery. Wish me luck!! If all goes well, there is a possibility I could have the surgery by mid August or have to wait until the beginning of September when my surgeon returns from vacation.