It's been a while

I haven't posted in some time. I find it very difficult to get back on the right track eating what I should and exercising. I really don't know what my problem is. I've cancelled my doctor's appointments and just trying to get a grip. I'm so mad that tax season has once again 'won'. I hate what an extra 10-15 pounds has made me feel and look like. I know I shouldn't dwell on my mistakes or what happened and just go forward, but it's so hard. I don't eat as much anymore since tax season has ended and now I realize how bad the stress is and how much of an emotional eater I am. I want to start over and lose like I should and never let that happen again. I get full, but I never get sick from the amount of food I consume. I rarely get sick anymore, only if a food isn't moist enough and gets stuck. I feel like I can eat so much more than I should be or thought I could ever eat after the surgery. I want so badly to snap out of this funk and get back that 'loving gym' feeling and spend extra time cooking yummy foods again, not just throwing things together. I know I need a vacation desperately and have none planned at the moment. I blame tax season a lot, but bottom line, I can't leave the industry now so I just have to find better ways to deal with it. I've been back to the gym only once since April 15th and left feeling so defeated. I could only do a half an hour on the ellipitcal trainer, when I had worked up to doing an hour before I stopped going. Everyday since I've been trying to convince myself to go and have failed. Again, I am going to try to muster the strength and courage to go tonight after work.