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THE TODDLER DIET

You folks with toddlers should relate to this one!

Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The
trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to
eat (the starvation diet), or you don't get enough
variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat
diet).

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the
years you may have noticed, as I have, that most two-year-
olds are trim. It came to me one day over a glass of water
and a carrot that perhaps their diet is the reason. After
consultation with pediatricians, X-ray technicians, and
distraught Moms, I was able to formulate this new diet.

Good luck!

DAY ONE
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape
jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the
rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the
jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips,
and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of
flat Pepsi.

Bedtime snack: Toast a piece of bread and toss it on the
kitchen floor.

DAY TWO
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat
it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of
vegetable dye.

Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a
handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor) or cat food, if you
are named MiKayla. One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take
outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until
it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust
up your left nostril. Pour grape Kool-Aid over mashed
potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with
fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other
pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker
from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your
best chair.

Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit
several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table
and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red
punch.

FINAL DAY
Breakfast: A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of
soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of Cornflakes,
add a half cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk
and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch: Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet.
Find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meat-
ball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Woke Up Feeling Skinny

You know it's going to be a great day when you wake up and lie in bed and feel skinny!!! Of course, I weighed myself ASAP and it's true!! Well, maybe not skinny, but nice weight lost.

I didn't eat much over the weekend because my stomach was swollen. It's amazing how aware I have become. It's a weird feeling and it's hard to describe to those not having this surgery. The best I have come up with so far is that my stomach is now sort of hourglass shaped and when food finally passes through the skinny part where the lap band is, it can sometimes feel a little bit like the food is been suctioned through. Weird, I know, but even weirder to feel it. I was in minimal pain over the weekend and ate mainly applesauce and pudding. I tried some baby food that was a little chunky and I felt every bit of it. I did not get sick, but it's such a weird feeling. I'm hoping today I can eat a yummy chicken dinner. I made tuna for lunch, which I still puree with a little fat free mayo to add moisture and have had no problems with it. I made chicken salad the same way. I don't puree it down to a liquid, it still has some chunks in it, just a quick few seconds in my magic bullet.

I went with my godson to the Hall of Science yesterday and we went in the Hall of Mirrors. I was a little hesitant because I didn't need to see myself any fatter than I already am, BUT did enjoy the mirror that made me look skinny. I wish I had my camera with me to take a picture for inspiration. I looked good. :)

Back to the elliptical trainer tonight!!

The results: HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 265. :) So ready to be out of the 260s.

My 2nd Fill

The doctors seemed to be OK with my progress. They say I lost 3 pounds since the last visit, but I just don't see how that's possible. Anyway, they decided to fill me 2 cc's more so I'm at 4 cc's total now. I was really scared sitting in there. I was almost in tears. The fill wasn't too awful, but he said it's difficult because I have so much scar tissue. I could also do without him flicking the syringe while it's still in me. The assistant doctor freaked me out saying that if I go home today and get sick from swallowing water, I have to go back tonight and get loosened. Again, more inconsistencies....he says only clear liquids until Monday, my surgeon says mushy foods through Saturday. Who knows what's right anymore.

I'm Not Giving Up

So, I have reviewed my weight loss over the past 2 months and it appears to be pretty stagnant. As I've said before, it's been up and down the same few pounds. In the past, this is definitely the point I would have given up and gained back everything I've lost and then some. I can't anymore and don't have the urge to. I just want to keep losing. I have been working out every night at home and eating what I'm supposed to be 95% of the time. I have sacrificed a lot of foods and drinks I normally would have eaten and drank and still have remained the same weight. As frustrating as it is for me, I'm staying positive and just continuing what I'm doing. It has to come off at some point, right??

A New Year, A New Beginning

I've struggled a lot since having surgery, but then again, I've struggled for about half my life. It is clear that for the rest of my life I will continue to struggle. Life gets in the way and nothing is ever perfect. As long as my numbers continue on a downward slope, I will be happy. I feel like I've lost the same couple of pounds over and over and over again. I haven't been perfect, but I've done a pretty good job. I don't completely sacrifice, as some of my doctors may want me, but rather take tastes if I really can't resist a food and am satisfied. I have to remember that I can't possibly eat everything put out on a table anymore and shouldn't. For those of you that have eaten at my parent's house, you know how difficult that could be. It's OK to taste and have a few different foods, but I can take the rest home as leftovers. No big deal and then the meal gets to be enjoyed for multiple days. I have to remember to take a breath and slow down...enjoy every bite.

Today, I started my new exercise regimen. I parked a few blocks down the street from my job (not entirely by choice, but trying to stay positive about it). I used the stairs to go up to and down from my office. No more elevator for me!! I also started using my elliptical trainer in the basement. My gym has not reopened and I haven't found any other gyms that have what I'm looking for. I set up my laptop (for the time being) and have selected the Friends series to help pass my time. Each episode is about 22 minutes and that's a good start for me for now. I was doing a little less at the gym and another 30-35 minutes on the weight machines, but my goal is to work up to 45 minutes on the elliptical trainer and then I can start watch my hour long shows, lol.

My attitude towards life is changing. I'm trying to be more positive and do what's best for me. This year, I want to be healthy and truly happy with my life. Whatever I have to do to make that happen, I will.

My next doctor visit is Friday and I will definitely be filled. Can't wait for a liquid diet weekend.

It's a New Year

My post will be brief today. I will just share my results.

HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 267.2