Flew in really early Tuesday morning and then went to work, which means I had no scale for a week!! Before leaving on vacation, I wanted to pack a scale and weigh myself while on vacation. I've been really neurotic with it. I'm glad I did not take the scale and hopefully have grown out of the constantly weighing myself phase now.
Anyone that has ever been to Vegas knows that all you do is walk EVERYWHERE. Whatever it is you want to see is about as far as it can be from where you are at that moment. Every morning, we walked to McDonald's and I got an Egg McMuffin sandwich (the least amount of calories with protein-300), lunch was had at various restaurants where I had different kinds of sliders mainly or a cheeseburger without the bun and dinner was a buffet. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to make the right choices. I had sushi every night with no problems and chose lots of protein, mainly fish and steamed vegetables where available. I had dessert, not always sugar free because I didn't care for the choices, but had small bites of a few things. I really didn't have any snacks in between and drank as much water as possible. I definitely ate larger portions than I should have, but didn't go really crazy. I never felt stuff, but always satisfied. I did not have one alcoholic drink, but did have a frozen virgin strawberry daiquiri at one of the shows. NO REGRETS!!!
Tonight is another follow up with the surgeon. Since I battled the first 2-3 weeks up and down the same pound or two, I would say there is a pretty excellent chance of my getting filled tonight. I'm trying not to think about it because then my nerves will get the best of me.
My really AWESOME results: HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 270.8 <------- who loses 4 pounds going to Vegas?!?!?! I DO, THAT'S WHO!!!!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
I Can't Believe it's Been Eight Weeks Already!!
I know, I owe you some pictures. In Vegas, I will make sure to take some and post them when I get back. We are leaving early Wednesday morning and I already started scoping out my food options. This past month, I have been up and down the same 2 pounds and I'm frustrated. Some of it was my fault, but I've been working so hard at the gym. Why doesn't it counteract the times I was bad more??? I did a ton of walking this weekend and making sure to go to the gym tonight and tomorrow night, even though I haven't started packing yet. I will be doing so much walking in Vegas and zero drinking of the alcoholic kind. I will be trying to make all of the right food choices, although I may stray a speck from time to time. I am packing my healthy snacks for in between meals. I have everything under control and hope the weight falls off me this next week. I fear I will get filled when I get back from Vegas now though. I know it's not the end of the world and the whole reason I got the surgery, but I'm still nervous about it. I find myself eating a little too fast and getting food stuck. I have to just slow it down a tad at meals, which shouldn't be hard for me, but most nights I don't eat dinner until 7:30. I rarely get hungry, but after the gym, even though I eat a high protein bar and drink lots of water, I still find myself starving when I get home. It's probably a good thing, but the reason I eat too fast most times.
So here are the results...HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 274.4
So here are the results...HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 274.4
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Halloween Sucks!!
I wish Halloween wasn't on a Sunday this year. Over the past two days, I have been shopping and twice put back Halloween candy. If I buy it now, I'm afraid I will be tempted to eat it. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of candy I don't like, so I can't just buy stuff I won't eat. I'm a bit of a party pooper and put candy out in a box so that the doorbell doesn't torture my pets and so that my house doesn't get egged. This year, I could do without the whole thing. Of course, there will also be the weeks afterward at work where everyone brings in the extra candy from their homes. UGH!!!!!!!!!
The gym has been awesome to me though!! Going back tomorrow, Thursday and Friday night this week and then the following Monday and Tuesday before I leave for Vegas.
I have to stay strong!!
The gym has been awesome to me though!! Going back tomorrow, Thursday and Friday night this week and then the following Monday and Tuesday before I leave for Vegas.
I have to stay strong!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
7 Weeks and Counting
I need to explain exactly what a lap band is again because in speaking to some people over the weekend, it was quite disturbing that they still don't understand exactly what I have been through and have in my body. Meredith, I will also explain what to be 'filled' means.
The lap band itself is a round piece of plastic that is tightened around the upper portion of your stomach like a ring. It has 4-6 plastic pillows on the inside of the band that are touching the outside of the stomach. These pillows are attached to a tube that is attached to a small plastic port. The port gets attached beneath the skin. Periodically, the surgeon injects saline through the port into the pillows that will tighten and make the opening to the lower portion of your stomach smaller. For example, when I hit a plateau or not losing as much weight as they would like, I will get filled. I'm told it is not painful at all. The band is placed around the stomach empty, so right now, I have nothing but the band restricting my food intake. When I meet with my surgeon, he has a chart hanging on the wall and asks if I'm in the green, yellow or red section. Green means that I'm losing the right amount of weight, I feel full and I'm not getting sick. Yellow means I'm not losing weight, not full at meals and eating too much. Red means I am getting sick, not eating enough food and losing too much. The amount of saline is adjusted to ensure that I remain in the green section. Here is a link about it along with a picture.
So I went on a quick two day trip to the Jersey shore. I think I made all the right choices and had no problems eating out or eating on the go. I packed my snacks and plenty of water. I ate dinner at a buffet and did exactly what the nutritionist told me to do. I walked the entire buffet and checked out all of my options. I took a small amount of salad first. Then, I went back for some food. I did fill my plate with a little bit of a few different types of fish, some ham and some pasta. I couldn't find any steamed vegetables. I didn't really like most of the food, so tastes is all I took. I also had some room for dessert and did the same. I took 3 different types of sugar free cake/cupcakes and really just had bites. I have NEVER left food on my plate before. I felt full, but not stuffed. I felt really good and really proud of myself. Since I eat so little now, I want only great tasting food. I don't mind just tasting food anymore either. It really does satisfy me and I don't need to do it in excess as I have done in the past.
I have had a really rough two weeks emotionally. Last night, I did a bad thing. I went to a drive thru and did not make any right choices. The only thing that saved me was the lap band and the fact that I could only eat about a quarter of the food I bought and I threw the rest of it away. I am so glad that I will be in the office everyday this week and can get back on track. I am leaving for Vegas in 9 days and did not hit my goal in weight loss. I'm a little upset and now scared that I will definitely get filled the week I come back from Vegas. I retain a ridiculous amount of water and it's frustrating. The two days I was away, I walked a ton and sweated a lot. I kept drinking water and when I came home and got on the scale, my weight was up. Vegas will also be a lot of walking and it will be hot so I will be drinking a lot. I don't want to get filled because of water weight. Granted, it's not all water, but a lot of it is. I will be at the gym four nights this week. I have to miss tonight because I will be working late. I have to get back to worrying about myself and doing for myself. I can't let things upset me and revert back to my old ways. It bothers me so much that people close to me in my life have thrown things in my face recently that I have confided in them about my food addiction and it just hurts. It makes me realize that there are just so few people out there I can trust with intimate details of my life and will go back to being guarded and not share all of my struggles and lapses. It's difficult when people don't listen to the full story and takes bit and pieces and then makes up a new version. I feel like it's best to just not even talk anymore. I'm tired of all the storytelling and being attacked for mistakes I've made in my life. I've never claimed to be perfect and am trying really hard to get things back in order. I just feel like everything has come crashing down around me and I'm slowly picking up all the pieces.
Here are this week's results: HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 275.
I know I shouldn't be devastated by the results, however, I really haven't lost anything in the past two weeks. I'm really glad I haven't put on any real weight. I've just spent the past two weeks up and down the same 1-2 pounds. I should be proud that I somewhat have a grasp on things, but I'm not even sure I do.
The lap band itself is a round piece of plastic that is tightened around the upper portion of your stomach like a ring. It has 4-6 plastic pillows on the inside of the band that are touching the outside of the stomach. These pillows are attached to a tube that is attached to a small plastic port. The port gets attached beneath the skin. Periodically, the surgeon injects saline through the port into the pillows that will tighten and make the opening to the lower portion of your stomach smaller. For example, when I hit a plateau or not losing as much weight as they would like, I will get filled. I'm told it is not painful at all. The band is placed around the stomach empty, so right now, I have nothing but the band restricting my food intake. When I meet with my surgeon, he has a chart hanging on the wall and asks if I'm in the green, yellow or red section. Green means that I'm losing the right amount of weight, I feel full and I'm not getting sick. Yellow means I'm not losing weight, not full at meals and eating too much. Red means I am getting sick, not eating enough food and losing too much. The amount of saline is adjusted to ensure that I remain in the green section. Here is a link about it along with a picture.
So I went on a quick two day trip to the Jersey shore. I think I made all the right choices and had no problems eating out or eating on the go. I packed my snacks and plenty of water. I ate dinner at a buffet and did exactly what the nutritionist told me to do. I walked the entire buffet and checked out all of my options. I took a small amount of salad first. Then, I went back for some food. I did fill my plate with a little bit of a few different types of fish, some ham and some pasta. I couldn't find any steamed vegetables. I didn't really like most of the food, so tastes is all I took. I also had some room for dessert and did the same. I took 3 different types of sugar free cake/cupcakes and really just had bites. I have NEVER left food on my plate before. I felt full, but not stuffed. I felt really good and really proud of myself. Since I eat so little now, I want only great tasting food. I don't mind just tasting food anymore either. It really does satisfy me and I don't need to do it in excess as I have done in the past.
I have had a really rough two weeks emotionally. Last night, I did a bad thing. I went to a drive thru and did not make any right choices. The only thing that saved me was the lap band and the fact that I could only eat about a quarter of the food I bought and I threw the rest of it away. I am so glad that I will be in the office everyday this week and can get back on track. I am leaving for Vegas in 9 days and did not hit my goal in weight loss. I'm a little upset and now scared that I will definitely get filled the week I come back from Vegas. I retain a ridiculous amount of water and it's frustrating. The two days I was away, I walked a ton and sweated a lot. I kept drinking water and when I came home and got on the scale, my weight was up. Vegas will also be a lot of walking and it will be hot so I will be drinking a lot. I don't want to get filled because of water weight. Granted, it's not all water, but a lot of it is. I will be at the gym four nights this week. I have to miss tonight because I will be working late. I have to get back to worrying about myself and doing for myself. I can't let things upset me and revert back to my old ways. It bothers me so much that people close to me in my life have thrown things in my face recently that I have confided in them about my food addiction and it just hurts. It makes me realize that there are just so few people out there I can trust with intimate details of my life and will go back to being guarded and not share all of my struggles and lapses. It's difficult when people don't listen to the full story and takes bit and pieces and then makes up a new version. I feel like it's best to just not even talk anymore. I'm tired of all the storytelling and being attacked for mistakes I've made in my life. I've never claimed to be perfect and am trying really hard to get things back in order. I just feel like everything has come crashing down around me and I'm slowly picking up all the pieces.
Here are this week's results: HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 275.
I know I shouldn't be devastated by the results, however, I really haven't lost anything in the past two weeks. I'm really glad I haven't put on any real weight. I've just spent the past two weeks up and down the same 1-2 pounds. I should be proud that I somewhat have a grasp on things, but I'm not even sure I do.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Rough Day
For some reason, today is hard for me. I just want to eat for no reason. I'm glad I don't have any extra food here at work. I've just been eating my meals, but just want to eat. I haven't been to the gym in about a week and a half and am going back tonight. Part of me really isn't the mood, but I'm hoping that once I'm there and work out, I will snap out of it. I could use a smile and a hug.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Some Things I've Noticed
Since losing weight, I don't really like the weird new fat distribution in my arms and thighs. I know it will go away soon, but they just look strange to me.
Last night, my sister invited me over for game night. It's always fun, but one of her friends brought an array of 'snacks'. It was really, really hard last night. It was a last minute invite for me so I didn't have any of my snacks with me and it was such torture watching everyone eating everything in sight and me just sitting there. I am proud that I did it, but I don't know if I can put myself in that situation again. It's definitely hard being good. Normally, I don't have a problem with that, but when it comes to food, I am out of control.
Speaking of being out of control, since starting this process, every day I realize how completely out of control my life has been. I was fooling myself for a very long time. I cook every night for myself now. I used to very rarely do that. I'm a great cook and it's really not that big of a deal to do it just for me.
I definitely like having things in control now. It branches out to all aspects of my life and slowly, I'm reigning everything thing and before I know it, will have complete control!!
Last night, my sister invited me over for game night. It's always fun, but one of her friends brought an array of 'snacks'. It was really, really hard last night. It was a last minute invite for me so I didn't have any of my snacks with me and it was such torture watching everyone eating everything in sight and me just sitting there. I am proud that I did it, but I don't know if I can put myself in that situation again. It's definitely hard being good. Normally, I don't have a problem with that, but when it comes to food, I am out of control.
Speaking of being out of control, since starting this process, every day I realize how completely out of control my life has been. I was fooling myself for a very long time. I cook every night for myself now. I used to very rarely do that. I'm a great cook and it's really not that big of a deal to do it just for me.
I definitely like having things in control now. It branches out to all aspects of my life and slowly, I'm reigning everything thing and before I know it, will have complete control!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
I Worried for Nothing
After waiting over an hour and a half in the surgeon's office, it was decided that he wasn't going to fill me. Why?? Because he is very pleased with my progress so far. Go me!! He said the band is working just fine the way it is and am losing just the right about of weight. He will reevaluate things on October 27.
The veggies, salad and fruit are going well so far. I did eat out at a restaurant last night and had a hard time with the chicken. It was too dry and dipping it in the BBQ is defeating the purpose of eating healthy. I will have to be more observant when I eat chicken out. I should probably choose other meats that I know will be moister. I didn't get sick or anything, but felt it get stuck a little going down my throat. It's kind of funny because wouldn't that have happened even if I didn't have the band?? I don't ever really remember that happening before, unless that's because I always ate chicken with lots of gravy or sauces on it. Makes me think, though.
The veggies, salad and fruit are going well so far. I did eat out at a restaurant last night and had a hard time with the chicken. It was too dry and dipping it in the BBQ is defeating the purpose of eating healthy. I will have to be more observant when I eat chicken out. I should probably choose other meats that I know will be moister. I didn't get sick or anything, but felt it get stuck a little going down my throat. It's kind of funny because wouldn't that have happened even if I didn't have the band?? I don't ever really remember that happening before, unless that's because I always ate chicken with lots of gravy or sauces on it. Makes me think, though.
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