Wow

Since, my last post, I have lost complete control. I've been working a minimum of 60 hour weeks and haven't hit the gym or moved much out of my chair at work. I've been eating everything in sight and have been making some poor choices. I don't know what's going on with me. I know this is all stress related and can not believe the damage that I have done. I have worked so hard and let it all slip away so easily and quickly. I know it's not over and it's just a stumble and I can pick up the pieces and move on, but wow, is all I can say. How quickly I can screw up such hard work. The truest thing ever said about this surgery was that the lap band is just a tool. If I choose not to change my life, the lap band will not help. I have felt like crap for the past few weeks and fuller than I ever should be. I only have 3 weeks of tax season left. I hope to get to the gym sometime later this week. I will make better choices and eat only when I'm hungry. I did start making this really yummy tuna dish for lunch. I use a can of tuna, some golden raisins, chopped onions, fat free mayo and chopped broccoli. It's so filling and different than just plain old tuna.

What's done is done. I changed my appointment to the end of April. No point in going in before when I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I certainly don't want to be lectured at this point. I know I screwed up, but it's not over. I want to get back on track now. I can do this. I will succeed. I have learned so much about myself throughout this journey and still have a long way to go.

Tomorrow is another day and I will get back on track and do the right thing for my health. No more fooling around. Christine first.

I don't want to post the updates, because I'm embarrassed that I let things spin out of control so quickly without realizing in such a short amount of time.

No Fill For Me!!

I didn't get a fill yesterday. The surgeon says my reaction to bread and chicken was typical when the band is this tight. He thinks it's at a good point now and will only fill in small increments in the future, like a quarter or half cc. The doctor said my weight loss is slow and I just looked at him. Duh!! It's what I complain about every single visit. We once again went through the foods I eat on a daily basis and he was only concerned with my breakfast which is a No Sugar Added Carnation Instant Breakfast shake made with skim milk plus. He always tears apart that breakfast, but honestly, I went home and looked at the box versus a box of cereal that he suggested and I just don't get it. The shake looks so much healthier and a third of the carbs. I will have to bring the box in next visit because I'm so confused. I really don't mean to challenge so much. I'm just trying to learn and once again, I feel like I'm getting conflicting information. Of course, yesterday I was still at my highest weight in the past 3 weeks when I went for my weigh in, but somehow managed to lose a pound according to their records. I haven't been to the gym since Sunday and haven't been eating veggies like I should be because I'm broke and imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale this morning. I seriously don't get it at all!!!

HW 317, PSW 306.4, SW 284, CW 263